It's Not of God... but what to do?

These last couple weeks have indeed been crazy... I know I've mentioned that already. In addition to the "circumstances" I've found myself in, I've been struggling off and on with some other things. I thought I'd share some from my journal last week (I keep one up when there are things pressing on my heart). The journal entry started purely as laying my heart on paper, but I quickly realized I would want to share them with you. I thought it would be fitting for Works for Me Wednesday.

____________________________________

It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt this way and, as usual, I don’t know what started it. I’ve felt *off* all day, give or take an hour or two here or there. Call it sad, out of sorts, depressed, despair. I don’t know what it is or what started it, but I do know it is not of God!

My heart aches for those people who feel like this all the time. Experiencing this feeling from time to time as I have in my life really opens my eyes to what life must be like for others… others who live each day depressed.

How do you get out of something when you can’t pinpoint a cause? Without a cause, there is nothing to fix. How do you cheer up when you don’t know how?

I’ve counseled people who found themselves in the midst of depression, but I’ve never really viewed their situation from their shoes before. As I sat down to dinner tonight with my precious family, I realized why some people must choose to end their lives. I can’t imagine living every minute of every day of my life feeling this way. (I am in no way thinking of or even wanting to hurt myself, or end my life—I’m simply saying I may understand a tiny part of why someone might.) There is no hope in that feeling. And God is not in it! A feeling of depression, or overwhelming sadness that never ends, or an oppressed spirit cannot be of God. These things are tools of the Great Deceiver! Hopelessness only comes from him!

Our God is a God of hope, joy, and love. He brings these things to those who place their trust in Him. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against which there is no law.” As believers, we receive these in our lives and as we grow in Him, they are evidenced in our lives as they too grow in us. As believers we can claim these, hold this promise close to our hearts and hold steadfast against the devil when he comes to deceive us.

I said that depression is not of God, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t use it for His glory. Romans 8:28-29 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”

What use does depression have? Why would God use it? And how can it possibly work together for good? First of all, God can use anything He wants. More specifically though, I find that God uses times of depression in my life to bring me to Him.

Don’t misunderstand. I believe Satan is at the root of depression (I’ll touch more on this and some more specific causes later.) But I also believe God allows it, and uses it, to bring us to His feet again!

No matter how we feel, we are still responsible for our actions and the most important thing we can do is also the most beneficial. I always find that the Lord lifts my spirit as I spend time with Him. Even now as I sit here, though my circumstances have not changed—my to-do list is still long, my home is out of order, my schedule is overwhelming, and my body is still tired (have I mentioned I have a newborn and a home business and a toddler?)—my spirit has been lifted and a quiet sense of peace and joy has come over me.

Will it always be easy? Will the feelings of despair and hopelessness stay away? Maybe not. Perhaps I will fall back into depression tomorrow, or later today, or sometimes next week. The trick isn’t a trick at all. Each and every time Satan stands before you, weaving his web of deception, run to the feet of Jesus! It works for me!

To be continued…