Grabbing the ropes again!

I know I'm not the only one. Sometimes we all just need a little re-boot! We rarely (never!) plan on things falling apart. Sure, we may know it's about to happen... we may even have a contingency plan, but we never say, ok... now are going to loose control of everything.

Um... no.

Sometimes, something else is just more important! And there were some of those things last week that just needed to be more important than blogging about how badly I'm keeping my schedule! Suzy had to wait!

Of course, with that lack of focus here, came a lack of focus overall. It was a bit of a stressful week for me. Emotional. Rough. Growing.

But good. We need to reach the bottom to see how far we've come. How low we are.

It's always funny (not haha funny) to me that we can't tell we've let go of the rope until we are free-falling toward the hard rocky ground.

It amazes me how bad things can get inside us before we realize something isn't quite right.

The summer of 2002 I lived in Bolivia... far from the city in a mountain village of Villagrande. I was there as part of a missionary training program for back country/ pioneer missions. I was part missionary that summer, and part trainee. We served, ministered and learned. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

We (me and two others I'd never met before this trip) took Spanish, immersion style, from a woman who knew no English and couldn't even tell how the Spanish text book was to be used. We served in a church, learned to slaughter chickens, took long weekend trips to more remote villages where bathing was something done in the creek and you walked until to couldn't see people anymore before you "used that bathroom" behind a big rock.

I lived with an elderly couple that knew no English and took my meals with deaf Bolivian girls in the "dorm" across the street". At least there I could communicate as their language is very similar to ASL.

During that summer, I knew I needed a rope to get through... rather, I should say I needed the one who held the rope! And I clung to it.

I knew I wouldn't make it day by day without first having my time with God. I knew going in that I needed to make it a priority. I spent every morning reading God's Word and talking with him. I chose a big chunk of Scripture and worked on committing it to memory. I was holding on tight with both hands. And these times weren't just done to cross off my list... they were part of me... and I them.

And what an awesome summer of growth and communion with my Lord!

But doesn't it always happen this way... that when we return to what we know, we loosen that hold. Maybe only hold on with one hand. Or, worse... let go all together. We can do it ourselves after all!


It occurred to me this past weekend that I've been missing something in this journey through motherhood. I live each day like the rest. I wake up, go about my tasks. Sometimes things go well, sometimes they don't. I struggle to do a good job. I spend weeks at a time "disciplined in my quiet times", only to fail in them for longer between.

It has never occurred to me before now that I'm in the thick, now, of the hardest thing I've ever had to do... and I need to hold on tight with both hands!

Being a godly woman, a submissive and respectful wife and consistent, loving mother are the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I'm doing them with only one hand on the rope... sometimes letting go altogether.

I truly need God's help to do this thing right... to make it through each day... to raise these children right!



To be continued...

Labels: Gratitude, Life Lessons for Mommy, Raising Children, Reflections, Suzy meets P31

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 3:22 PM