19 Weeks Along, Part 2

(Continued from Thursday's Post)

The past couple months have moved by relatively quickly. Morning sickness reserved itself for mornings (other than the night My Beloved caught and showed me a mouse from our vents... yuck!) Kids have kept me busy. I'm trying to get into some kind of routine. Many days I fail at something, but other's I feel quite successful!

The one thing I can remember feeling more than any other is fat. That's right... fat! I'm not sure the exact reason, but I was having a tough time feeling like my current size was pregnancy related. I know I'm pregnant... yes, I know. However, because I have no actual memory for the details and timeline of my previous pregnancies, I didn't feel like I should be getting very big yet. I knew some of my "baby bump" must be due to pregnancy, but overall, I just wanted to hide it, feeling that I was just letting my overweight midsection make me look prematurely pregnant.

Some of you are probably laughing at me in this, and others know exactly how I felt! This was not helpful in being excited about being pregnant. I can remember, with each of my pregnancies with my children, being excited about my growing size. It was part of it... a rite of passage if you will. The really funny thing about it all is that I began my first pregnancy 30ish pounds heavier than I did this one... and I was thrilled with my growing belly then. The fact is that I was less overweight this time than either time previously! None of it made any sense to me... but that didn't change my struggle.

It was a couple weeks ago when I finally couldn't stand it any longer. I looked all over my computer for pictures of myself at 16-17 weeks pregnant. I wanted to see what I looked like. I wanted to compare. I wanted to feel better about it and to be excited about my large middle. Maybe I should have measured back in December so that I would have a comparison and be able to prove it wasn't in my head! No pictures exist!

My next step was to turn to the internet and I was so pleased to find my relief from a much loved and trusted blogger. Stephanie, bless her little heart, posted her 16 week progress during her third pregnancy this past year. Will she ever know how much help she was to me in that little post? This part was especially encouraging:

"For bottoms, I've been wearing the small selection of "larger" pants that I keep set aside for the early months and also for after baby comes, although just this week I am finding that these aren't cutting it anymore either (even with elastic bands), so I've just pulled out all of my true maternity pants. Sigh... Guess that's how it goes with baby #3!"

And so, with that, though I may have been a bit overweight before pregnancy even started, this post encouraged me that indeed, (at least with a third pregnancy) I am growing as I should be.

I am glad to say that the past couple weeks have been a joy. I've felt much more comfortable wearing the few things that actually make me look pregnant (winter clothes have a way of hiding it). My sweet husband even took me to pick out a few "springy" maternity items.

Now here I am, 19 weeks along, only sick a few times a week (in the mornings), building a new routine, getting things done around the house, spending time with my littles, and rejoicing over this new life within me (even feeling the early flutters). Just for the record... some pregnancy "down sides" include pain in my lower (and I mean very low) back, and hip pain after being up and around a lot. Normal I know... and a friend showed me some stretches that may help. Now I just need to do them.

Next week I'll officially be half way! And with it comes the BIG ultrasound on Tuesday! Hopefully we'll be able to find out everything we want to know. :)

Labels: Pregnancy

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 8:31 AM