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Chasing Babies... Growing in Grace: Wonderful Grace

Monday, January 24, 2011

Wonderful Grace

If anything is laid out opportunity for practicing patience, reading lessons are sure to be it.

Lunch complete. Sister and baby are down. It's time to be just with Mommy. Fifteen minutes alone, more or less, to do lessons.

He loves them. Asks for them!

We've barely settled into a spot on the floor. Book open. Sounds rolling off his tongue in slow motion. I'm already frustrated. He looks up, smiles.

"I'm having fun with you Mommy!"

My heart breaks. Guilt floats at the top of my cup, overflowing with gratitude at those sweet words.

I pull him close. How can I not be enjoying this precious child? This gift? This blessing?

Why is silliness such a frustration? Why don't I remember that repetition is how they learn?

"I'm having fun with you too," I say, squeezing gently, determined to do so. And so much more the angrier at myself when I've brought him to tears not 5 minutes later. Over what? Not his reading... he does wonderfully. Because he isn't sitting right... or doesn't put his finger in the right spot.

Lord, why this anger? This hypocrisy?

There is no character issue here... at least not with him. My character is another issue entirely.

It is soiled black. I strike out at one of the least of these... am I not striking out at Him? Yet He, in all his longsuffering love for me... He just waits. His Spirit stirs in my heart... patience. Love. Kindness.

"Love is patient, love is kind... is not easily angered...." First Corinthians 13 rattles off in my mind.

I gather him into my lap, holding him close. Letting him wipe his tear soaked face into the fibers of my sweater. "I'm so sorry!" I whisper soft into his ear.

We decide to finish the lesson, sitting close. My hand follows the words. He hesitates. "Mama won't get mad... I promise. You can do it." Words come out slowly, unsure. "Good!" I whisper soft. More. "Well done." He grows more confident. More excited.

We end with a hug... I fall over beneath him. He pulls on my arm, helping. "I want to be carried," he says. I scoop him up. Little arms pull around my neck. Grace. Wonderful grace.

159. cuddles with my boy

160. a "bear crawling in his den" as he pushes between my back and the cushion with his face.

161. help shoveling snow

162. hearing his little voice sing a new verse of "Trust and Obey"

163. hugs a brother bestows on his crying sister

164. excitement over "writing"

165. excitement over making cookies

166. excitement over helping

167. excitement over anything at all!

168. growing taller

169. watching him learn

170. "I'm having fun with you Mommy!"

171. Grace!

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At January 24, 2011 at 4:35 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you. I feel just like you write. Thank you for writing about this. p.s. we have the same reading book. It worked with my 6 year and now my 4 year old!


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