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Chasing Babies... Growing in Grace: Harder to Re-start

Monday, January 2, 2012

Harder to Re-start

Do you find that true???  That it's harder to re-start than to start something new?  I sure do.  Setting goals and jumping in with both feet is what I'm all about!  Unfortunately I'm also all about falling off the bike and leaving it laying in the street while I go off and do something else.  Where is dad standing there over our shoulders reminding us to "get back on the bike"?

Okay... sorry. No more metaphors.  Probably.

Still, it's harder for me to get back up and re-start something.  It's lost it's glory.  It's no longer fun.  I did it already.  (The starting I mean.)

Little example, if I may...

We were married January 9th, 2005.  Yes, that's just one week more til our 7th anniversary! :)  We got married, had a wonderful week long (give or take) honeymoon in southern California, and flew here to PA to begin our lives together.  Storybook, right?  Or something.

Regardless, it was wonderful.

My Beloved had rented this little place.  Perfect!  At my request, he'd moved all his belongings into the middle of the living room and left them there.  I really wanted to be part of setting up house. 

We arrived home, got things moved around, settled as much as possible, went to work acquiring a bed, couch, etc.  Everything was, of course, perfect.  Nothing lacked.  Our first company came that first Sunday after church when we hosted another couple.  Lunch was tortilla chips and cheese eaten straight off of the aluminum foil we cooked them on as we all gathered around the ironing board we had set up as a make shift coffee table in the living room.  (Our stuff was still to come.)  Who  doesn't love these memories???

Then My Beloved went back to work for the first time in our married life.  Life... real life... together had begun.  There are so many things I could say about those next months, but they are not in the scope of this post.  What I will say is that I jumped in with both feet!  I became a thriving Fly Baby.  I learned how to shine my sink, create a routine.  Oh, and I was excited enough about finally being a wife, that I actually followed it!  I dusted the top of my refrigerator and my ceiling fans every. week.  Seriously.  I even remember judging other women when we'd be in their homes.  Isn't that horrid!?!  (Oh please be merciful to me if you are ever in my home now!)

Fast forward to September of that same year.  In order to pay down the last of my school loans, we decided I would take a job teaching high school English in a Christian school for the year (another story that is far beyond the scope of this post!)  Having never taught before, nor ever been trained to teach before, this was quite an experience.  The next month or so I spent most of my time either teaching, planning or grading (not to mention that My Beloved would help with some of the grading too).  Suffice it to say that I lost hold of my homemaking in that time.  My Beloved did at least 95% of everything.  And helped me!  Even when I got smart and stopped bringing so much work home, we still divided much of the housework.

Come the end of January, 2006, I'd resigned my position (long story) and finished the semester.  I was home again.  And thrilled.  Truly this is where I always wanted to be.  But I was having a hard time getting started again.  I tried all the old ways, but they felt stale.  It just wasn't as much fun this time around.  I struggled for weeks to get back into a routine after being out of one for so long. 

Then, before I'd ever found my groove, I was pregnant.  And oh was I sick!  If I wasn't sitting or laying (and better than that distracted by something), I was running down the hall for the bathroom.  And I was sick like this for 8 months!  I did a lot of reading (this is when I discovered blogs), and even dabbled the beginnings of blogging toward the end of this time.  Suffice it to say, My Beloved still did most of the work.

Then December brought our little Tornado.  And as most of you know, learning to keep a home after that first baby comes is hard anyway... let alone when you didn't have it all figured out before!  Then there were the feeding issues, the months of pumping, and another pregnancy (and the morning sickness it would bring) just 6 months later!

It would be several years before I would ever feel like I had things pulled together.

See... it's harder to restart.  (Wooo... long story.)

Then last year we had this whole Suzy series going, and things were looking up!  And then I fell away! And now, here we are... it's harder to re-start.

But I'm pushing through.  I'm determined to do my husband good.  Determined to glorify my Lord through my dailies!  Determined to put off laziness and look well to the ways of my home!  Determined to choose that good part!

And what's better than doing it right at the start of the year?  I'm not big on new year's resolutions... but why not?  It's here.  It's now.  Let's make this THAT kind of year!



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