Monday morning

This was from Christmas... imagine it worse!

The house was a wreck, but it would have to wait.  My Beloved began loading the older kids in the car while I finished in the bathroom with Little Man.  We were already running late.  A friend is helping My Beloved build a bench/ storage solution for our kitchen table so he took the day off to work on it.  All our kids are about the same age, so we all "took the day off" to spend the day with together.

The men had a goal of wrapping up the one project and starting in on the trundle for Little Man.  That part of the project would be at our home, but I'd forgotten that.

"I feel bad for him..."  My Beloved said as he climbed in the car.  The kids were all loaded now and he'd run back in the house for something.  "The back of the house smells bad and he has to go all the way into the kids room."

I was devastated.  Not because I was embarrassed at what our friend would see (and smell... the difficult to cover smell of cloth diapers and laundry 3 loads behind), but because I knew that my sweet husband was embarrassed.

All too quickly this post came to mind and I realized that I was not doing my husband good.

Even worse than him being embarrassed??  I know he is not happy and comfortable in our home on a daily basis.  I do not keep a haven for him.  I'm blessed that he hurries home to me at all with all that surrounds him around here these days.


Yes, we have a new baby.  Yes, we have 3 other children, ages 5 and under.  Yes, days are long and many days are challenging.  Yes, I'm sleep deprived and easily destructible, working with multiple "training" moments throughout every day.

Yes, many of you are probably thinking that I'm justified.  Don't be so hard on yourself, you're thinking. 

But I know.

I know.

I could do more.  I could stand back up after sitting down.  I could push through and do more than just the easy stuff.  I could get through the day and go to bed exhausted.  Others do it.  I, too, could work into the night if need be. 

I have another chance.  (We always have another chance!  His mercies are new every morning!)  The morning's projects took longer than expected.  There were distractions and interruptions.  The kitchen bench remains unfinished.  I didn't expect to be so glad wait longer for it.  I would have another chance.

I would scrub the bathroom.  Catch up on laundry.  Vacuum the huge dust balls from the hall.

The house would start turning around and he looks pleased.

I begin doing him good, not harm.  Lord help me to do this!

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 1:29 PM