Our first month with Belle

Remember this...


I loved this little hat.  But I wondered.  I wondered as I was putting the finishing touches on this little hat if, in fact, it would be too little.

My concern was that it isn't very stretchy.  There's no forgiveness in this little hat.  Still, I loved it.  So I hoped.


Then my little Belle was born.  Nine pounds, nine ounces.  And she was big.  That pudgy little face... I can still see it.

Do you see that sweet, soapy little head?  It was not going to fit into that cute little[r] hat.

It's okay, I decided.  I have a big, healthy, baby girl!  That's good enough for me. 

And she was nursing better than any of my other babies already.  We were off to a good start.  I'd spent a lot of my pregnancy praying that this baby would gain weight as she should, unlike any of my others. 

We left the hospital the next day and just like the others, I began following her weight gain on my scale at home.  We were home a day earlier than I was used to with my other babies because of the night time birth and no group beta strep, so I wasn't surprised that her weight was down a bit more that first day home.  Even the next day.  She wasn't loosing at an alarming rate, and I know that first week is tricky with milk coming in and all, so I determined not to worry.

Things were going well, so when Saturday came, we said with sureness of heart, that we were going to be fine on our own and sent My Beloved's mother home to Michigan with his dad.  It seemed silly to take her offer to stay when it meant Dad would have to do the whole 9 hour drive again the following weekend to pick her back up.  No, we were fine.  She could certainly go home with him.  The church would be bringing meals and things were settling in nicely.  So we said good-bye Saturday morning and off they went.


It was when I weighed Belle again that afternoon that I began to wonder if something really was wrong.  She weighed in at 8 pounds 8.5 ounces.  More than a pound lost since birth.  Seemed to me that was more than the "considered normal up to 10% of birth weigh lost".  We watched even more closely.  Then it seemed to be leveling out.  Monday morning the doctor wasn't worried.  He looked her over said that she didn't have any signs of dehydration.  I was so encouraged.  Now I could relax a little.


But I'm not good at relaxing.

By Tuesday or Wednesday she'd lost another two ounces, so I started pumping and feeding her by cup.  This took so much time and I really started to doubt our decision to send my mother-in-law home!  I also made a call to the hospital's lactation consultant.  Her weight went up some before my lactation appointment Thursday afternoon, but I'd fed several feedings exclusively with expressed milk and that little medicine cup and topped her off with it for all the rest.

Turns out that she was a model nurser during our appointment, not doing it the way she usually had.  The consultant said she wouldn't call her a strong nurser, but she was doing okay.  Part of me was frustrated that Belle didn't demonstrate what we had been doing so I could get the help we needed, but the other part of me was grateful.  At least now I knew that if we could do this good (and now I knew it was possible), it was "good enough".  During that nursing, she took in almost 2 ounces of milk (we did a before and after weighing).  And as I nursed and we talked, I answered question after question for her.  As we wrapped up our time together, she said she thought it was going to be okay.  That after hearing that all my babies have been slow gainers, she thinks it's just the way it is with me.  She also said that I could continue adding cup feedings after nursings as long as I thought I needed to and that I could come back if I needed as well.  I left their encouraged too.

Then, the next day, she'd lost everything she'd gained the previous... and by Monday, now 2 weeks old, she weighed 8 pounds 5 ounces.  I continued pumping (a couple times a day) and feeding Belle with the cup, one sip at a time, after each day time feeding.  This took most of my time.  She nursed 45 minutes to an hour each time, then took 10-20 minutes to take another ounce or more by cup.  Then a couple times a day I would pump... and wash all that I used to do that.

I continued this all week and by Saturday she'd gained 3 1/2 ounces!  The doctor, Wednesday, said she looked healthy.  He still wasn't worried.  This blew my mind.  The pediatrician we used to use would have said "failure to thrive" and put us on formula weeks ago!  So glad we changed doctors.

Saturday came and went.  She'd weighed 8 pounds 8 ounces.  It was time for bed and I'd had no chance to pump all day.  I was out of breast milk for cup feeding the next day.  I figured I'd try to get it done in the morning after My Beloved and the big kids left for church.  But it didn't happen.  It was afternoon, she'd weighed in half an ounce down for the day, and I still didn't have any milk pumped.  I took a deep breath and decided to just see what happened.  This would be a good test, after all.  What would she do if left only to nursing?

Monday's weight... she'd regained that half an ounce lost!  I was thrilled.  It wasn't much, but it was on her own strength, and she never looked back.  I haven't pumped since.

That first month of her precious life was long.  Hectic.  Busy!  But I am grateful for it.  I am reminded again that it is the baby we are to look at, not the scale!

She was wetting diapers, pooping, waking, sleeping.  She was strong.

She was fine.

I'm hopeful that I've learned my lesson for this baby and that I won't worry each month about what the numbers on the scale read.  Each of my other children have grown slower than the charts said they should.  And each of them was fine.  This time I want to watch the baby!  Not the scale!  And to truly trust the Lord for wisdom when it comes to problems!

Labels: As it happens..., Breastfeeding, Raising Children

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 4:50 PM 1 Comments

How I'm Spending My Days...

No, I'm not really back yet.  And, though I want to be, I don't quite know when I will be fully here.

I'm not even sure I'm fully HERE... in my home... in real life.

I'm stopping in quickly to share a tiny picture of life right now... and to ask you to pray.

My sweet girl is 16 days old... yet it feels like she's been part of our family forever.

Days and nights are full of caring for her and the other children.  She sleeps pretty good at night, which means I do too for the most part.  And of course she is so very sweet.

But she's not gaining weight.

I know.  Shocker.  That one of my children should struggle with weight?  Nonsense!  (Roll of eyes inserted here!)

Trouble is that she's continuing to lose weight and is down to 8lbs. 5ozs.  And that's on my scale, which, I believe is higher than the hospitals if I remember right.

We've seen the pediatrician and he's not worried yet... but still.  Please pray that my little girl will stop losing and start gaining weight.  Feedings seem to be going better, but she's continued losing even though I've been cup feeding her expressed milk after most feedings.

So approximately 8 hours of each day are spent feeding this precious little one!!  And most days that's with only one middle of the night feeding.  That's a lot of feeding during the days!!!  Please pray things will get easier!!!

Thanks!

Labels: As it happens..., Breastfeeding, Raising Children

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 7:05 PM 2 Comments

Fresh worries and the Creator

The end of five months came and with it the same worries fresh.

Digital numbers on display. A baby on the scale. He's growing!

But is it *enough*?

Is it ever enough?

Three babies born to us, and never do they gain quite the way I hope... never are all doubts quenched. All questions quieted.

Then come the gentle words, again... the baby, look at the baby. Not the charts.

Not the charts. But how can I ignore? How can I but compare? What else do I know?

The baby. A mother of three, still I flounder. I stare long, mind empty. I don't know. I expect some sort of understanding. It doesn't come.

I say I don't compare. Each child is different. But I do. Not to my oldest. Not to my girl. But to hundreds of thousands of others.


Look at the baby. This baby. My baby.

How can he be behind in pounds and ounces, yet perfect in every other way?

How can he be behind in pounds and ounces, yet ahead in diapers and laundry? (So far ahead!)

Look at the baby! This baby. Not his baby or her baby or all of those babies... My baby.

Look at the smiles, the laughs, the eyes. Hear the laughs, the cries, the squeals. Wipe the spit-up, change the diapers, wash the laundry.

My baby.

I look to the Creator of the baby, not the maker of the charts. With that, He calms all my questions. Soothes all my fears.

And He'll be there to do it again tomorrow, and next week, and next month... until finally I trust. Until finally I remember.

Labels: Breastfeeding, Gratitude, Little Moments, Raising Children

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 3:02 PM 1 Comments

Chasing Three: The First Week

A week ago, our little man joined our family... on the outside. Since I mentioned a little nervousness about adding a newborn to my schedule, I thought I'd share a bit about what life is like this side of the delivery room.


Chasing "Babies"
My Beloved brought Tornado and Sweet Pea to the hospital Friday night (along with my mom once they picked her up from the airport) to meet the baby. I was holding him when they came into the room. They came around the curtain and stopped at the foot of the bed... then Sweet Pea took several steps backward. Both of them just stared at me... or rather, at the baby. Daddy had tried to explain how the baby was out of Mommy's belly, but some things you just have to see to understand. They warmed up to him quickly, though, once we asked if they wanted to hold him.

The next day Daddy (and a group of grandparents) brought them back for a visit. Keeping 2 and 3 year olds quiet and still in a hospital room is near impossible. Add into that the excitement of visiting grandparents and seeing Mommy and it's plain ridiculous. They didn't stay long... and they didn't hold him again. I could see signs of sickness just emerging in both of them. By that evening, Sweet Pea had a fever of 102+ and both kids were coughing and runny nosed.

Sunday, Little Man and I were home, the house was full, and the kids were still sick. It broke my heart to tell them that, not only weren't they allowed near the baby, but they couldn't touch Mommy right now either because of their germy hands. Between feedings and diaper changes, I tried to give my other babies the attention I knew they wanted. I was very grateful for the distraction and help of grandparents! I can't even tell you how many times I changed my shirt and washed my hands as I went back and forth between the new baby and my sick "babies"! This went on for 2-3 days.

They are still not completely well (noses are still a little runny and coughs persist), but germs aren't flowing and flying as they were in those first days! We're managing much better. I am better able to give hugs on demand and to multitask... at least as it pertains to the attention I give my littles!


Little Man
A sweet change from my previous two, this Little Man took to nursing quickly and with confidence. As you can (hopefully) see in the picture, my feeding record worked wonderfully for us (and the nurse thought it was cute). He fed well, but the part I loved best was that he was also going through diapers at record speeds! He certainly didn't need to exceed the minimums for healthy growth (and please don't compare your baby to mine... each one grows and eliminates at his own pace), but after two babies that struggled to grow and get enough milk, it was encouraging for this mama to see!

We follow the Parent Directed Feeding (PDF) philosophy as explained in the book On Becoming Babywise.

It's not "Attachment Parenting" and it's not "Scheduled Feeding". It's somewhere in the middle. According to the book, helping baby get on a basic schedule aids in establishing his metabolism... and his sleep habits. Doing this (helping establish good sleep habits) makes for a happier, better rested baby (and mommy). Good sleep is also important for all the growth and developing baby is doing!

So what does this look like? In this first week my main responsibility has been to make sure Little Man gets a full feeding each time. This is often easier said than done with a sleepy newborn, and I can't say I was successful 100% of the time. By doing this, though, the theory is that he will fall into a nice 2 1/2 - 3 hour routine... making it possible to know a general time for the next feeding.

Step two is to work on doing the routine in the proper order... eat, wake, sleep. This means that when he wakes up, I feed him. Then, after some "awake" time (I think we officially had some of this yesterday), I put him down for his nap. I lay him down while he is still awake so that he can learn to fall asleep on his own... not dependent on mommy to rock or nurse him before he can fall asleep. This sounds brutal to some of you... and it's not always easy (read: ever) when your precious new baby is crying and you know that he'll stop if you just pick him up. But I've been through this twice before, and I can tell you that I wouldn't take anything in the place of a baby who has learned to fall asleep on his/her own! It's better than chocolate once you get there.

Lest you think I'm letting my little one scream and cry for hours through the night and day, I do lots of regular checking on him while he's crying... and a good amount of calming and cuddling. Now that we are at the end of this first week, things are starting to settle into a nice routine.

Oh, and one more reason this is so important to me... more important than it was when Tornado and Sweet Pea were this age? Having Little Man on this schedule (even a loose schedule) and being able to put him down for his nap gives me 45 minutes to an hour and a half (more or less) to give to my other babies... very necessary time!


The EC'ing Department

I mentioned my intention to use cloth diapers this time around and my plans to try something new in the diapering department. I've begun EC in a very laid back way... observation. In fact, this is the first step anyway... learning baby's patterns and cues.

I caught a poop (in a prefold while sitting on my bed) in the first couple days at home... and a potty in the toilet at the end of the week. Other than that, I haven't been trying very hard. Though he had a certain pattern I was catching onto in the first days, everything changed when my milk came in... and now he's often wet before I know it. I love having him in cloth (prefolds without a cover for now) because he gets changed so much more often and it's really no more expensive! I find that my body is taking it's time in recovering strength and moving around too much causes an ache in my back/side and sore tummy muscles. It's starting to get a little better, but still has me doing as little as possible. I am looking forward to stepping up the EC attempts more when my body feels better!

Labels: As it happens..., Breastfeeding, Chasing Three

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 1:16 PM 3 Comments

Finally some love for the boys!... Baby Boy Breastfeeding Record

A long time ago (almost 2 1/2 years now), I introduced my breastfeeding record... a fabulous resource (for me anyway) for keeping track of all those newborn stats we need to keep track of. You know, when did we feed? How many wet diapers? How many poopy ones? When Tornado was born, I jotted it all down on notebook paper, but I wasn't happy with the way it worked entirely. So when Sweet Pea was coming, I designed something pretty and functional to help me keep track. Many of you have requested that I send you a copy so that you could use it too... and I hope it worked for you as well as it worked for us!

Over the last couple years I have had a couple requests for a "boy version", as apposed to pink flowers. I can remember saying something like... "if I ever have time, I'll let you know." Well, with the coming (soon) of our little boy, I've had to make time to make that "boy version"... and so here it is!!

I used the same format as the original, but replaced pink with blue and made up a cute little background (sailboats homemade by yours truly). I hope it's something you can enjoy. Tornado helped decide what other little "decorations" should be included.

Download all the files below:


Week 1: A very special week measured in 24 hour periods from the birth time. I've mentioned what the stools should be like too. The blue boxes show the minimum number you should be looking for. (Talk to your babies doctor if you have questions about what exactly is right for your baby. I'm getting my information from Baby Wise!) In the "Feedings" boxes, I usually put an "R" or "L" in the box for the side last started on, and above the box I put the time. If you are bottle feeding, you could also put the number of ounces given in the box.



Weeks 2-4: You may have to tweak the end of the first week with the beginning of the second (or blend them) as it switches from 24 hour periods to full days. Otherwise I work it pretty much the same.



Weeks 5-10: This one is pretty much the same too... and I found that I stopped being so faithful sometime before the tenth week. Use them as they fit your life style. At some point between week 6 and 10 I'm comfortable in a routine and don't find that I'm depending on my records anymore. You may find that you feel the same! :)


So there you have it... feel free to ask questions if you have any. I'll get to them when I can, though, I've slowed down significantly in these last days before baby's arrival, so please be patient!


___________________________
You can find the girl versions here too:

Labels: Breastfeeding, Getting Ready for Baby

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 12:04 PM 1 Comments

How can something be unfortunate and wonderful at the same time?

It's a valid question... Tornado has been a finger sucker since he was little. It was so adorable and I loved that he didn't just suck his thumb like every other baby, but now it's difficult to get him to stop. We've decided to try to work on getting him to stop sucking those fingers now before he's 3 or 4 and it's even harder.

We've been so glad that Sweet Pea really likes her pacifier... figuring that even if it's traumatic for a few days when it's time for her to give it up next year (or so), that it will still be easier than giving up a thumb. The problem with this, though, comes 3-4 times every night when she wakes up and can't find it. I end up having to rollover, prop myself up to reach inside her bassinet (residing right next to the bed still because rolling over and propping myself up is way better than getting out of bed and walking to wherever in the middle of the night) and replace the missing pacifier. I have struggled to just let her cry it out like I know I should, because I know she's old enough to be sleeping through the night and she certainly doesn't need to eat if she just goes right back to sleep once the pacifier is replaced. But I do struggle, because she doesn't need me to pick her up, or rock her, or feed her... she just needs to suck to sooth herself back to sleep.

Well, this last week (Tuesday I believe), my little girl found her thumb! It's unfortunate for later, but oh so wonderful now! We are now officially "sleeping through the night"! She no longer wakes up (or wakes me up rather) crying 3-4 times a night. If she does wake up, she is quick to, get this, SELF SOOTH herself right back to sleep! :) **sigh** It's great! And last night she went a full 8 hours between feedings. I'da gotten 7 1/2 straight hours of sleep had I gone to bed when she did instead of watching We Are Marshall until 1 am because My Beloved isn't home and I just felt like it.

Now we just give her a few nights to see if this sleeping straight through is a fluke or the new thing... then we have to decide what to do with her. Don't tell My Beloved this is all happening... I've been saying for months now that she's in our room until she's sleeping through the night (so I don't have to get out of bed in the middle of the night to feed her). Now if she's sleeping through the night, its time for her to go. But where? I can't stick her in the living room. I like the idea of any night time intruders having to go by our room before getting to the children (yeah... My Beloved rolls his eyes [not outwardly of course] at that logic too). But I'm terrified of putting her in Tornado's room, the room they will one day [apparently very soon] share. Tornado is such a great sleeper, sleeping from 7 or 8 at night until 8 or 9 in the morning. I'm so afraid that when I go in to get a crying Sweet Pea at 6 to eat that he's going to get up too and my morning will be OVER!

Anyone have experience with this? Moving an infant in with a toddler? I'm SCARED!

Labels: As it happens..., Breastfeeding, Raising Children

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 12:51 PM 3 Comments

Weight Check... no, not me!

Labels: As it happens..., Breastfeeding

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 3:57 PM 4 Comments

Input Requested: Breastfeeding Advice

For my select male readership (all 3 or so of you), please feel free to skip this post.

I have a question for those of you with lots of experience breastfeeding your children (or even just lots of children or even just some experience). My DS never did well nursing... and even when we figured it out, he then spit everything up. Convinced by everyone that "it always looks like more spit up than it really is", I wasn't worried. At our 3 month appointment however we learned that he had only gained a pound more than his birth weight! He wasn't gaining. So, knowing that history, please understand why I may be over reacting or over anxious where my 2 1/2 week olds growth and eating are concerned.

I am breastfeeding our little girl (as I'm sure you've figured) and it is just sooo hard to know whether she is getting enough. This is something I know everyone deals with. Because of this I pay close attention to her "healthy growth indicatiors". (Updated: I should also say... I have no doubt as to my milk supply, but she doesn't seem to eat much. It's really hard to get her to stay awake for a feeding. She only wakes up fully after her feeding.)

We have an old baby scale (measures in fractions of a pound, not in ounces). It is old (probably from the 50s-70s somewhere) that an older lady in our church lent to us, so we aren't sure how very accurate it is, but we figure it will give us a ball park idea of weight and help us watch whether our little girl is gaining. It's hard to say for sure, but if she is gaining weight, it isn't very fast. This makes me worry a little, but then I look at other "healthy growth indicators" and note that her urine is clear and that she has enough wet and poopy diapers in a day.

My intention is to watch the scale over the next couple days and continue monitoring (i.e. she isn't lethargic, how many wet diapers, etc.) her myself. If things start looking bad, or the scale refuses to move, I will call the doctor, but we really prefer not to drag my children to the doctors for every little thing. What do you with experience think? Is this a normal thing? She is spitting up some, but I don't think it's as much as DS was. Sometimes it's lots, and sometimes she doesn't at all. I just really don't feel like I can judge normal. I would appreciate any thoughts from you who have been there before and have more wisdom than I!

Labels: Breastfeeding

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 4:01 PM 6 Comments

My Feeding Record

I am breastfeeding our newborn, and I must say... it is going soooo much smoother than it did with DS! She actually nurses! Go figure. I shouldn't be surprised. There were lots of people praying that this would go well. I am thankful to the Lord for helping us with it. We are still working to keep my one week old awake (or getting her awake) for feedings, but other than that, things are great in the eating department!

I filled in some examples, but here's the way I have it designed to work. My source says that my newborn (in her 2nd-4th weeks of life) needs to be fed 8-12 times, have 6-8 wet diapers, and 2-5 poopy diapers each day. You will notice that the minimum number for each row is filled in with pink (sorry mommies of boys... if you want a copy, let me know and I'll try to make a boy version). This is to help you see at a glance if your little one is reaching the goals.

In the "Feedings" row, you should fill in each box at the time of feeding with an "R" or a " L" depending on the side you started feeding on. (If you are bottle feeding [and I understand that many people need to or choose to for various reason] as I had to do with my DS after a while, write the number of ounces fed in the box.) Above the feeding boxes, write the time you started the feeding.

In the "Wet Diapers" and "Poopy Diapers" rows, fill in the time in each box as you change your babies diapers. This is one of the main changes I made in the feeding records I've had in the past. Most of them have a place to check off, but I can never remember if I remembered to do that, or if I missed recording it. And with no way to know when I checked it off, I was at a complete loss. So now I can know whether or not I remembered to write down that 4 o'clock diaper change. [Sigh of relief!] I worry about these things you know. :)

So there you have it! Let me know if you want a copy, or if you have any ideas for making changes! :) I'll try to make a "first week of life" version, and I'll post the revised version for the weeks beyond week 4 when I get there. :)

Labels: As it happens..., Breastfeeding, Passing it On

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 8:12 PM 7 Comments