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Clinging to the Vine

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Chasing Babies... Growing in Grace: Clinging to the Vine

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Clinging to the Vine

I've been struggling in the day to day. Not as much with getting things done (though there is always more I wish I've done at the end of the day), but in my attitude, my frustration and my joy. I've been struggling to enjoy my children as my training seems less and less effective all the time. I desire to be a good keeper at home, yet constantly am loosing the battle to give my heart over to it's God given role.

Yesterday I came to a breaking point. I was fed up... not so much with the children and the circumstances surrounding my day (though I was fed up with that too), but with my attitude, reactions and the sin that seemed to be pulling down on my heart until I could bear it no longer. I did the only thing I knew to do... the thing I should have been doing in the first place. I went to the Lord. I didn't even really know where to start... I prayed some in my desperation. I opened my journal to write, but didn't have any words. So I opened His Word.

Something occurred to me during that time in God's Word. It was hard for me to see, but plain as day in retrospect. I certainly hadn't walked away from God. I love Him dearly. I enjoy my times singing of and to him, being in church, and teaching my littles of his Word and ways. Though I am not always faithful in spending quality times reading His Word and in prayer, I do enjoy both of them. That's what made it hard to see what was really happening. I hadn't walked away from him, but I was definitely leaving him behind, proceeding through my days alone. I just didn't realize it. I think that may be the saddest part of all.

Beyond what the Lord helped me realize during my time with Him yesterday, be brought me to Ephesians 4:1-3. I was deeply challenged by verse 1:

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called...

My calling is this house, these kids and this family and I have not been walking worthy of that calling. And I am to do it with...

all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (verses 2-3)

I'm trying to dwell on these things today as I continue to strive to walk worthy of the calling to which I have been called.

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At February 3, 2010 at 9:18 AM , Blogger Alicia said...

Thanks for this timely posting! I have also been struggling with this same thing. I love my kids and my family and I love doing things together and although this is the best thing we as moms can do for our kids, its so easy to unintentionally leave God behind when we put off our quiet times. I hope you will be able to find balance in your life and thank you for being such an encourager through your honesty!


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