Longing for the Easy Life

I'm reading through Managers of Their Chores by Steven and Teri Maxwell.  I'm really enjoying the book so far.  I'm still in the trenches of the why and wherefore, and haven't yet reached the practical how to on training my children to do their chores.  I look forward to that part and have been tempted more than once to skip ahead and get on with it already.  I already agree with everything they say anyway.  Though they have thought through more than I have and it's great reading.

Chapter five is all about Dad's attitudes.  It was a great chapter.  They present the entire household/family as being Dad's responsibility.  Mom's the helper, but ultimately, it all falls on Dad.  What mom wouldn't love that?  Still, many of the things I read in that chapter I knew could and does apply to me and there were several "ouch" moments.

So when I turned the page to chapter six and saw that it was all about Mom's attitude, I knew I was in for it.  I grimaced just seeing it there.

And I was right.

The first page.

"Owning Responsibilities."  Hmmm... I wondered, looking at the section heading.  I wonder what that's going to be about. 

I read on with head turned, eyes squinted, peering out of the corner of my eye.  Afraid.  And well I should have been. 

"A starting place for us as mothers is to own our responsibility in our duties first as mothers and then as homemakers." (p. 41)

This doesn't just apply to teaching our children to do chores.  This can apply to my minute by minute attitude toward my children.

They reference Titus 2:4-5, which lists loving husbands and loving children before being keepers at home.  Then 1 Timothy 5:14, that talks about bearing children and then guiding the house.  Not tearing the house down with anger and yelling.  And finally Ephesians 6:4, which reminds fathers (and dare I say mothers as well) not to provoke your children to wrath, but to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

They continue:

"These verses are a good summary of the major responsibilities God has placed into the life of a Christian wife and mother.

 Have we owned these responsibilities, or do we shirk them?  Sometimes it can be easy to feel like it is too much, too hard, and too overwhelming." (p. 41)

Isn't it so easy to feel like it's too much?  Too hard?  Way too overwhelming?

I don't know about you, but I have not "owned these responsibilities".  But to say that I shirk them hurts.  Can't there be something in between?

I so want there to be something in between.  But there's not.  We're never going to be perfect, but if we are not "owning these responsibilities", we certainly are shirking them!

I have been, not just failing, but shirking these responsibilities in my attitude and behavior toward my sweet children.  I do desire to change, but it does feel like it is "to much, too hard, and too overwhelming."

In the Maxwells' very next sentence, I shifted from worn out and hopeless, discouraged that I have not "owned these responsibilities" to the reminder of hope given in the Scriptures:

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).

Incredible!

What did that say?

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden..."  That's me!

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." 

I read it over again.

"Easy... Light."


God has given me the task, these responsibilities in raising up my children.  To love them and to train them.  Not to be angry with them and to yell at them all the time.  Leaning on myself always gets me to the same place... shirked responsibility.

Jesus says, though, that his yoke is easy, his burden... light.

He doesn't ask us to do anything He will not enable us to do.  Should I simply come to Him with this area of life and motherhood and frustration, He has promised rest. 

And if I will only be willing to take His yoke upon me, to learn of Him, I will find rest for my soul.

And then, resting in Him, I will find that his yoke... walking with Him in the life He has called me to... is easy.  That His burden... everything so heavy upon my shoulders each day... is light. 


I can "own these responsibilities".  But I cannot do it alone.  I must go to Him, take up His yoke, and find rest for my soul!


Joining in here:

Labels: From God's Word, Life Lessons for Mommy, Raising Children

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 9:01 AM 1 Comments

Priorities: The Good Part

We've met Suzy, and talked about Whom we do it all for, what a homemaker really is all about, and determined to do our husbands good, not harm!... but where is the real stuff? Where is the practical... the how to? When are we going to talk about what we really need to talk about to find change?

I have two answers for that. First, we already are. If we jump right in to cooking lessons (still to come) and the "how tos" of cleaning the toilet (among other things) without first finding our true motivation, we're eventually going to leave that toilet brush in it's holder. Who wants to touch that yuck after all? So go back and read (or re-read... I've done it and I wrote them!) those early posts... it'll do you a world of good to get things started on the right foot!

My second answer... soon! In fact, I had every intention of kicking off the home management and cleaning portions of "Suzy meets P31" this week... today. But, it's occurred to me that "one [post] is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:42 KJV)

Have you met Martha? Mary? They were followers of Jesus... friends. They loved him dearly, followed him, ministered to him. On at least one occasion, they welcomed Jesus into their home. Actually, it says that "a woman named Martha opened her home to him." (Luke 10:38) First of all... can you imagine??? What an honor! The Lord of heaven and earth a guest in her home. What must that have been like? I can only imagine she wanted everything to be perfect, wouldn't you? (Rabbit trail: are you aware that Jesus tells us that "whatever [we do] for one of the least of these... [we do] for him"? [Matthew 25:40] Remember that the next time... every time... you have the opportunity to serve your sweet family in some way!)

But before long, the joy of serving Jesus became a burden of making everything just right. She began to grumble in her heart (it doesn't actually say that, but don't we usually grumble in our hearts before we ever utter a complaint aloud?) Scripture says "Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made". She actually complained to Jesus that her sister, who was sitting at His feet listening to Him, wasn't helping her. And Jesus answered her, "“Martha, Martha... you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Aren't we so often a Martha in our own homes? (If we're going to be either of them that is.) I struggle enough with discipline in this area, but add to that trying to build a routine and get a grip on my household... forget it!

If I succeed in becoming Suzy Homemaker, yet don't grab that Proverbs 31 part... one thing will be needful!

If I master routines, discipline myself in the art of homemaking, become a gourmet chef, yet fail to spend daily time in the presence of my King, I've missed "that good part." (KJV)

But ugh! It's so hard! I have three littles, 4 years old and younger... with at least one early riser. I'm trying to get to bed earlier, but still... it's hard! So here's what I do (when I do it... I'm still working on this one)...

On the mornings/days I don't make it up or take the time to be with my Lord before the kids are up, we simply take time together. This morning, for instance (since I actually did it today... woo hoo), after the breakfast dishes were done and the kitchen was looking ok, I announced it was "Bible time" and everyone was to get their Bibles so Mommy could read hers. We've done this before, so it wasn't completely foreign... though it's been a while. I reminded them that they needed to look at their "Bibles" (Bible storybooks) while I read mine and pray. Then when I am done, we'd read together. It takes lots of reminders (with my newly 3 year old especially), but hopefully they'll eventually get it. It gives me time to spend in the Word, demonstrates my time in the Word and prayer to my children, and starts them in a time of their own. It works for me!


Now... your turn! This week, take a look at the time you spend (or don't spend) in the presence of the King, reading His Word, in prayer. Does something need to change? Do you need to/can you get up a little earlier? Is there a nap time (theirs, not yours) that would work? Or can you build in a family "quiet" time to get "alone" with your Savior? Maybe you don't have kids yet and just need to discipline yourself to stop, stop "...[worrying] and [being] upset about many things" and simply "...[choose] that good part".

We'll touch base Friday where I'll share how I did this week... and you'll have a chance to report in too!

I'm joining in with...

Labels: From God's Word, Home Making, Life Lessons for Mommy, Suzy meets P31

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 9:22 PM 4 Comments

Just like everything else... one day at a time!

I've decided to participate in "Blogging through the Bible in 90 Days". Ok... so I'm only unofficially participating.

Oh, I'm going to do the reading.

And I'll do some blogging about it too. Probably.

I'm just not signing up. In other words... they don't know I'm doing it.

Why the "unofficial"-ness of this challenge? Frankly... I don't want to have to follow the rules. It's too much pressure for me to have to check in on certain days... or to have to blog a certain amount about it. You, of all people, know I'm not great at blogging on time. Or at all for that matter. Not to mention... just reading on schedule is going to be taking up enough of my time already!

I am really excited to be participating though... however unofficial. Really, the important thing is that I'm going to read like crazy, and to spend lots of my time each day in the Word. This is the important part!

So here we are on day three (it started Monday) and I've been sick since before it started. As such, I've not read much so far.

However, several months (eh... or more) ago I started reading through Genesis with the desire to read straight through. So instead of starting over, I decided to jump in where I was. This helped extend further grace upon my being sick to start this thing. I have been reading in the mornings while I feed Little Man, and I began with gusto today. I was excited to think that I am only 3 chapters from being on schedule (totally doable this afternoon or evening) when I checked the schedule and found that in 3 more chapters I'll be caught up as of tomorrow!

WooHoo!

That's ok. I'm going to aim to stay on track to be a day ahead... it gives an extra day for me to falter down the road! :)

Anyone else participating?

Labels: From God's Word, Life Lessons for Mommy

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 1:38 PM 2 Comments

No going back

Regret is an amazing thing. It comes so unexpectedly. Unwelcome. Experiencing it the other evening, I've paused to think. To reflect.

Once regret has come, there is really no way to make it go away. It's too late. This is something we are trying to help Tornado understand too. It's the consequence to an action... rather the feeling attached to that consequence. We may move on. Forget. But there is no going back.

I wasted my evening. I spoke harshly to the children. I didn't submit.

No going back.

There is, however, going forward. Repentance. Forgiveness. Learning. Change. Grace.

So much grace.

Regret can be used by the enemy. Sometimes it attaches itself to false guilt... sometimes it stands alone. In my life, however, regret is more often a tool used by my loving God. A wasted evening. Instead of being down and depressed about failing again, I can respond to the Holy Spirit's conviction. Repent. Seek forgiveness. Make changes for the future.

No. I can never recapture the time lost, the harsh word spoken, the sin allowed, but I can let it be worked together for good in my Father's willing hands!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28

In "all things"... When I am weak Lord, then I am strong!

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Labels: From God's Word, Life Lessons for Mommy, Reflections

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 11:44 AM 0 Comments

Dying to Self

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds....
Ephesians 4:22-23

When I first revisited the idea of "dying to self" this past fall, I started wondering what the Biblical backing of this very "Christianese" saying was. I just couldn't remember which verse it was from. Turns out that it isn't a verse after all. So where did we get it. I knew it wasn't original to myself... I'd heard it somewhere and I'd heard teachings of the concept.

A number of years before marrying My Beloved I was part of a Bible Study that studied, among other things, the book of Colossians. In fact, we spent a lot of time studying Colossians, and the thing I remember parking on and have carried with me ever since is the whole idea of "putting off" and "putting on". It's this idea of putting away the old self. It's not enough to just change the way we do things as believers, or to start doing good. A number of places in the Bible talks about this whole idea (Romans 8:13, Ephesians 4:22, Colossians 3:5 [and others throughout Colossians] to name a few... I'm sure there are more) of putting off the old self, putting to death the deeds of the body and all in all "dying to self".

But what does this mean in daily life? Sure it means I shouldn't lie or steal or hate... but it occurred to me this past fall that it means something more than that. It creeps in to every facet of our daily lives... not just the moments we are "struggling with sin".

So what does it mean to me??? It means picking up and doing what needs to be done... even though I don't feel like doing it. Even though I didn't get enough sleep last night. Even though kids are sick. Even though I am sick. It means that no matter what, I need to Do It Enyway!

Did you catch that??? Do. It. Enyway. For me to "mortify the flesh" on a daily, moment by moment basis, I need to "put to death the deeds of the body"... for me, this is my very flesh. My desires, my laziness, "me time". When something comes up or needs to be done or a baby cries or needs to be disciplined or trained again, I need to just Do It Enyway... despite whatever I may be feeling.

When I want to sit at the computer, read a book, stare out at the street, talk to a friend on the phone... I need to die to my fleshly desires for self. These desires aren't sinful in themselves, but anything that takes me away from the purpose the Lord has given me in this life needs to be put off, so that I can put on the new and Do It Enyway!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go fold the laundry and do something about dinner! And it's not because I want to... it's my next step in DIE-ing to self!

Labels: From God's Word, Home Making, Keeping My Home, Mommy's Tool Box, Reflections

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 3:53 AM 0 Comments

Clinging to the Vine

I've been struggling in the day to day. Not as much with getting things done (though there is always more I wish I've done at the end of the day), but in my attitude, my frustration and my joy. I've been struggling to enjoy my children as my training seems less and less effective all the time. I desire to be a good keeper at home, yet constantly am loosing the battle to give my heart over to it's God given role.

Yesterday I came to a breaking point. I was fed up... not so much with the children and the circumstances surrounding my day (though I was fed up with that too), but with my attitude, reactions and the sin that seemed to be pulling down on my heart until I could bear it no longer. I did the only thing I knew to do... the thing I should have been doing in the first place. I went to the Lord. I didn't even really know where to start... I prayed some in my desperation. I opened my journal to write, but didn't have any words. So I opened His Word.

Something occurred to me during that time in God's Word. It was hard for me to see, but plain as day in retrospect. I certainly hadn't walked away from God. I love Him dearly. I enjoy my times singing of and to him, being in church, and teaching my littles of his Word and ways. Though I am not always faithful in spending quality times reading His Word and in prayer, I do enjoy both of them. That's what made it hard to see what was really happening. I hadn't walked away from him, but I was definitely leaving him behind, proceeding through my days alone. I just didn't realize it. I think that may be the saddest part of all.

Beyond what the Lord helped me realize during my time with Him yesterday, be brought me to Ephesians 4:1-3. I was deeply challenged by verse 1:

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called...

My calling is this house, these kids and this family and I have not been walking worthy of that calling. And I am to do it with...

all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (verses 2-3)

I'm trying to dwell on these things today as I continue to strive to walk worthy of the calling to which I have been called.

Labels: From God's Word, Life Lessons for Mommy, Raising Children

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 9:23 AM 1 Comments

Let's build each other up today!!!

I need encouragement today... and what better way to encourage ourselves and others than to proclaim the Glory of God! Can you join me? Can we make this a post full of his blessings, promises and glory! Please leave a comment with a Scripture that has blessed you of late! Share with us how God is glorious! Please, I need to be built up today.

I'll start!

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7

No matter the situation: the stability of the economy or a husband's job, the salvation of a child, or the poor choices of a loved one, The Lord is at hand! He is right here with me. I have no need to be anxious about any of it... not how I should handle a situation or what I should do about it... none of it. Instead, The Lord is at hand, right here with me, and I am to bring EVERYTHING to him "by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving". Then "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I am so thankful for the peace He offers!

______________
Now please... won't you join me? And spread the word! Let's encourage one another in the comments today!!

Labels: From God's Word, Mommy's Tool Box, Reflections

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 10:33 AM 3 Comments

From God's Word: A Mother's Study

As I spend time in God's Word, I am on the look out for parts of Scripture that direct me as a mother. I mentioned that I am seeking the Lord's direction through His Word in matters related to the discipline of my children, but really, I am open to His leading and direction in all matters. As I was reading in John today (and I'll admit that I am not as faithful as I would like to be in spending time in God's Word) I read a verse that stood out to me as a mother.

John 15:5 ~ "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
Of course this verse applies to all of us, mothers or not, but this morning I want to look at it from a mother's perspective. "Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." This part of the verse really grabbed me. Of course I know and understand the concept of needing to be in God's Word, and I've spent my share of time dwelling and meditating on what it means to abide (dwell with, linger on, etc.) in Christ, but what a reminder that I desperately need this. It is both for my own good, and for my children's. "Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit...." Am I not striving to bear fruit in the lives of my children? How can I expect to raise children for Christ if I am not abiding in him. "...for apart from me you can do nothing." I will not be capable of doing anything in and for my children without Christ. My desire to be patient with them is impossible without abiding in Christ. My desire to discipline them in a Godly fashion is hopeless without abiding in Christ.

My desire is to be a godly Mother and to bear fruit through my children as they grow, to see them know the Lord and to abide in him themselves, but these things are not possible without my first abiding in Christ. What a reminder and challenge to remain in God's Word daily! Not only because I can accomplish more around the house, or even because I can grow closer to him. My desire is to serve him through bearing much fruit around me, specifically in the lives of my children. To do this I must be abiding in Him.

Six years ago I can remember a time when I clung to God's Word. I spent time every day (sometimes a lot of time) reading and memorizing Scripture. I was in Bolivia for the summer and it was a hard time for me. I was blessed to have the time to devote to being in the Word and I desperately needed it. I began each day in the Word and prayer, pulling from that time every ounce of strength for the day I could find. Some days I would return to my bed top to read and be strengthened more. I made the observation then that it is easier to devote so much time to being in God's Word in a ministry/missions atmosphere because we desperately need God for every moment. What an observation. It is so easy in our own culture and country to get comfortable and to think we can do it all without abiding in Christ. Not so with motherhood (or anything for that matter). While it is easy to think we have the ability to do things on our own, motherhood is hard and it is impossible to bear the fruit we desire to bear through motherhood without abiding in Christ!

I challenge you, as I am challenged today, to abide in Him. Spend time clinging to His Word and devoted in prayer each day. Perhaps it can only be 10 minutes, but cling to every precious verse you can. For without Him, we can do nothing!

Labels: From God's Word, Raising Children, Reflections

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 8:15 AM 2 Comments

From God's Word: A Mother's Study

Sunday morning I kept Tornado with me in church. He was still coughing and I wasn't ready to put him in the nursery again. Having him with me, though, showed me a number of things we need to be working on with him.

In the last week or so My Beloved and I have been realizing that we need to take a harder line stand in the discipline of our children. We have said from the beginning that disciplining our children is something we feel very strongly about, but now that it is here, I see how very difficult it is. It is time consuming and tiring, but mostly, I am seeing that every thought and belief I've had about child discipline and training until now was lacking.

I've begun a search through Scripture for everything God has to say to me as a mother. I feel as though I'm in a desperate place. For the sake of my little ones, I need to be clinging to God for knowledge and wisdom in every action. I know that I have been half hearted in so many things and I praise the Lord for bringing me to this place! Just this morning I opened Proverbs in search of a verse. Whether or not I found the one I was looking for I don't know, but I found a couple to chew on and apply today.

Proverbs 15:1 ~ "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Oh how this reminds me to have a soft answer and soft words for my boy. He can be very frustrating and it can be easy for my voice to escalate and grow more harsh as he continues to disobey. In disciplining my children, I want nothing more than for them to see and hear the love behind it. I at least want it to be something God hears and sees.

Proverbs 15:4 ~ "A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."
It is so easy (especially as each day grows long) for me to become more and more perverse in my attitude (my favorite definition for perverse is crankiness.) I will strive to remember that it is a gentle tongue that will train my little ones best. Disciplining them in frustration or even anger will break their spirit, not their will.


I will continue through this study as long as I feel the Lord leading. I hope to bring some of what I learn here to share with you!


Do you have any thoughts or encouragement on this??? I'd love to hear it!

Labels: From God's Word, Raising Children, Reflections

posted by ~Babychaser~ @ 10:18 AM 0 Comments