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Chasing Babies... Growing in Grace: December 2010

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Clinging to Gratitude in a Christmas full of heartache

I've been falling behind on my gratitude journaling. And it's especially necessary when He allows difficult things in our lives. So here we are... no waiting for the new year to turn over new leaves (there are enough of them for that anyway!), we're starting right back here with number 104!

104. A "quiet" family Christmas with my family

105. Living where we do

106. My sweet and loving husband

107. Three babies to chase train up for the Lord

108. A God who can fill our voids (when we let Him)

109. God's literal Word (telling us exactly what we need to know)

110. Grace (oh how I need to learn how to offer it as freely as I receive it from Him)

111. hard times (so that I remember to turn to Him!)

112. relationships (even the hard ones)

113. new beginnings in Christ (where all new beginnings should start)

114. hope (He has overcome the world!)

115. that I can find my smile in even 5 minutes of gratitude!

Thank you Lord for helping me find my joy tonight!


Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!

This is a cute little video they shared at our Christmas Eve service tonight. I had to find it on You Tube when we got home to watch it again... and share it with you. Ever imagine what it would have been like if Mary and Joseph had Facebook way back then?

Funny thing is... I learned a lot about how facebook works by watching it. I had no idea the intricacies! Not sure I could handle it if I were on. :)

Merry Christmas!


Thursday, December 16, 2010

Flashback Christmas

Christmas 2006...
Tornado is 3 weeks old. Look at those fingers!

Christmas 2007...
Tornado is 1... I'm 6 -7 months along with Sweet Pea

Christmas 2008...
Sweet Pea is 9 months old and loves the new horse from Grandpa!

Tornado starts learning what Christmas is about.

Christmas 2009...
Less spiritual than the manger,
Sweet Pea decides to diaper Mr. Man (Mr. Snow Man.)

Tornado helping decorate the tree

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Monday, December 13, 2010

"Anger Management" and what we're doing around here

Playing "train tracks" with the addition of a new piece for the birthday!

I wish I could say that I walked away from anger and haven't looked back, but I'm working at it. Working hard to keep my new resolve before me... Anger is not an option!

One of the ways I am working to do this is to be more engaged with my children for more of the time. This, combined with a 4 year old's birthday and 2 Christmas parties (and one on the way) here at our house, and I've spent very little time online since my last post... let alone blogging.

It's amazing how much time "fully engaged" takes! :) I do have hopes of being back... and around more. I'm taking pictures with the hope of sharing them with you all. But priorities need to be priorities right now... and with the Christmas season underway, it's all just a bit much! And above all, I'm learning to "make the main thing the main thing".

All that to say, I'm still here... I still think of you... but I may be hit or miss around here for a bit. I did add a Feedburner option to the bottom of my blog (scroll down) if you want to catch my hit and miss blogging without having to check back all the time. Otherwise, I'll try to beebop in more often as I'm able!



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Fixing Mom First: Anger

Play is not the only area I need to work on. Not by a long shot.

My own anger is one of the biggest I know. I am easily frustrated and easily angry. Both turn quickly into a "woe is me" attitude that only spirals down into mommy depression.

I've been battling this for a long long time. The mommy part has been going on 3-4 years, but the frustration and anger are lifelong. Struggles like that are hard to shake. Very hard. Wasn't it just last month that I was praying for patience... encouraged. Where did that go? Consistency with myself. That's what I need. To cling to the vine!

But it's this struggle with anger that, I fear, is adding to my struggles with the children lately. And why not? Why would my littles care to please me if all they feel (at least some days) is fear. I am convicted of this time and time again when I approach them calmly, without frustration or anger, and can almost see them wince. Expecting the coming wrath. The yelling. Harsh words. Even as I sit at this keyboard, I can hear Tornado's soft, whiny words, "I don't like it when you yell at me."

My heart breaks.

Hopelessness crowds around my heart as my teeth grit and my words come out more like a growl.

Where is the joy? Where is the love? And how is it that other parents effectively discipline and train their children without the need of threats and anger? How did I get here? I don't like the mommy I become when I am dealing with my children. And if I don't like her, how can I expect my littles to yearn for a relationship with her? To care? To want to please me?

I put the kids to bed tonight and sat down in the quiet of my little house. Something has to change. There has to be something I can do.

There is. And as I read through the testimony of a woman whose life all those years ago sounds like mine today, I soaked in her words. And read them again. And again.
"Finally, I changed my perspective. I decided to view my irritability as an extremely serious sin, not just an unfortunate personality flaw. I decided to view losing my temper as totally unacceptable and completely forbidden. Instead of seeking to 'improve', I determined to 'quit'. I changed to viewing anger as poison, not just as a small bothersome bad habit. Big difference....I determined that anger or irritation was NOT AN OPTION, period. My resolve was to be alert and ready, not passively doing nothing until sin was knocking at the door." (Elizabeth Krueger, Raising Godly Tomatoes)
This is the decision I want to make today. Because my anger is "an extremely serious sin"! In the moment of my anger, not only am I hurting my relationship with my babies, but I am doing so with my heavenly Father as well. Thank God for grace, but still I am grieving the Holy Spirit with my own spirit of anger. Impatience. Sin.

Starting today, anger is NOT AN OPTION!

Lord, help me to be vigilant. Looking for opportunities to become angry, so that I am ready for them. Help me to be aware of this poison, lurking behind every corner. Give me the presence of mind to put away my anger and to put on self control. The enemy is prowling around, waiting to pounce on me at any moment. Make my heart always ready, always alert to the danger!

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