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Chasing Babies... Growing in Grace: Where I am now and how I got there

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Where I am now and how I got there

Don't miss the background to this story and my little test of faith.  

I'm doing better and better with this "new" realization of baby number four every day.  Whereas initially I was terribly embarrassed about the thought of four children (like it's this huge shame on our family???) and being pregnant "again!", God has been slowly changing my whole mindset.  To the way it was before.

Like I said.  I always wanted a big family.  And the more I read around the web, the more I want as many kids as the Lord will bless us with.  So what happened?  I can only say that Satan saw a weakness and began spinning his lies on unsuspecting me. 

So how did it all change?  What helped me turn my corner?

One Sunday helped me turn my corner.  Sadly, I don't remember what the one man in our Sunday school said that first made me stop and think... but it was awesome.  IF ever I do remember, I'll be sure to tell you, as I had big plans to do before waking one morning the realization that I could no longer remember what it was.  :(

The other big help came that same morning, while, in tears, I shared with another lady in our Sunday school about our pregnancy.  And how I can barely manage the three I already have... how can I do one more?  Especially an infant.

She shared something from John Piper. He was counseling with a man who was overwhelmed and just couldn't do it anymore.  So Piper asked him, "You can't do it anymore, but can you get through the next eight hours?"  "Well, yeah, sure.  I can get through the next eight hours."  "Okay then, let's just get through the next eight hours." 

Wow.  In the middle of my own selfish pity party, I had forgotten the simple lesson of Matthew 6:34 ~ "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Each day certainly does.  And I was looping my exhaustion (from Lyme's Disease and early pregnancy), morning sickness, children's misbehavior, etc. etc... today, with the exhaustion, heavy work load, projected behavior issues, etc. etc.... later.  Of course I can't do all that!  And God doesn't even intend for me to worry about it all.  

Can I get through today?  Sure, it may not go smoothly, but I can get through it.  

So I'll just keep getting through today... one day at a time.  

Once that weight was off my shoulders (and heart), the panic lost it's hold, my vision cleared and my faith could return.  

More to come... Is a big family really all that bad?

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At September 11, 2011 at 8:36 PM , Blogger Sarah said...

I'm loving your posts. I love honesty and realism. That's why I like your blog. I will keep you in my prayers, truly. God is good and when we ask for "more faith", He loves to answer.

At September 15, 2011 at 10:38 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

I'm really enjoying reading your thoughts on this! It is wonderful to share in your journey of faith!


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